The clingy net is shrinking around me. So many possibilities open up but this great spiders web of neediness, with death just there.... And I'm longing for escape, but also torn with sad affection and knowing that I am a good guide in times of trouble. But the amount of stuff I need to shift, the looming health problem, the mass of polish baggage, the mass of W. & his stuff.... I feel like a Greek donkey struggling up a mountain under a mountainous load.