Wednesday, 27 May 2009

The web is still there, but the emphasis is now on clearing 35 years of accumulation so as to make the transition more clearly. I'm finding patience really hard: waiting for calls, scaffolders, auctioneers, evaluations, reactions from e-mails, and decisions, decisions, decisions. Poor brains, trying to hold and juggle so much uncertainty and so many tasks, which all have to fit together like jigsaw puzzles in time.
And worry for V. in Lahore, where bloody jihadists seem to kill with impunity.
Donne on the box last night: why ruin "Batter My Heart, Three-Personed God" with panting on the beach? The rest was a treat and a revelation. Did his love survive 12 children and poverty? My favorite was not aired:
Where, like a pillow on a bed,
A Pregnant banke swel'd up, to rest
The violets reclining head,
Sat we two, one anothers best.

Our hands were firmely cimented
With a fast balme, which thence did spring,
Our eye-beames twisted, and did thred
Our eyes, upon one double string.....

And so on for many magical verses.

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

The clingy net is shrinking around me. So many possibilities open up but this great spiders web of neediness, with death just there.... And I'm longing for escape, but also torn with sad affection and knowing that I am a good guide in times of trouble. But the amount of stuff I need to shift, the looming health problem, the mass of polish baggage, the mass of W. & his stuff.... I feel like a Greek donkey struggling up a mountain under a mountainous load.

Friday, 1 May 2009

PSI still shrinking. Can we meet in June and will we be able to keep it alive?
And contemplating the fuzzy dot that represents a 13 billion year old gamma burst: a huge explosion that took place when the universe was only 600 million years old.... Is there actually anything still out there? What we see are immeasurably ancient echoes and who knows what has happened to these event signatures in 13 billion years?